


Guarding the Heart

by Donovanspen



Series: Take My Hand [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2012, Established Relationship, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Anna Milton/Dean Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Private security Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donovanspen/pseuds/Donovanspen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working at his family's private security firm in Maryland, Dean Winchester is frustrated by his current desk assignment as well as how little he sees his live-in boyfriend, Castiel Adler. When Cas is hurt during one of his audits, Dean is stunned to find out just how much distance has grown between them.  Now he must find a way to bridge that gap while keeping Cas safe.</p><p>"But Dean was a protector. He had no qualms about protecting his family or dishing out a little Winchester justice. All of them were like that, even Sam underneath his polished appearance and law degree. The Winchesters were wild and fierce, and Cas loved that about Dean, except for those times, like now, when it made him feel so small."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DCBB. Many thanks to comedicdrama for the beautiful art and endless patience. And special thanks to cutloosemcgoose for being so much more than a beta - I could not have done this without you.

Dean Winchester hated paperwork. He was in a foul mood and being stuck behind a desk, writing threat assessments, wasn’t helping. What had started off as a promising day had quickly turned to crap. His stomach growled, reminding him of his broken lunch date; one of many. He glanced over at his cell phone, but quickly dismissed the notion. Dean would send him a text regarding dinner, but he was fairly sure that was out of the question, too.

“Hey, did you eat?”

Dean glanced up as his brother walked into his small office, dropping his large frame into the soft chair across from his desk. “Where the hell have you been?” he snapped.

Sam made a face. “Crowley called in last minute changes to the contract, which threw my morning off, and then I had to file papers for the Donnelly case. What’s got you so bitchy today? You guys didn’t need me there, and we don’t sign for another thirty minutes.”

“Nothing,” Dean grumbled, looking over the report one last time. There weren’t any mistakes. As much as he hated paperwork, he was damn good at it, along with everything else that came with being in private security. It was a family business, but Dean had earned every promotion. He was one of their best field agents; meant to be out there protecting people, not sitting around in the air-conditioned offices.

“Okay,” Sam muttered, reaching for the small bag that he had dropped by his side. “In case you haven’t eaten, Sarah made extras.” He pulled out a thick sandwich stuffed with meats, cheeses, tomatoes, and lettuce. The bastard didn’t even wait for Dean to say anything. He just dropped another sandwich on the desk with a knowing smirk.

“She’s too good for you,” Dean said, in lieu of a ‘thank you.’

“You’re just jealous because Cas can’t cook.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled around a mouthful of sandwich. He was still pissed about yet another cancelled lunch date. 

“Man, what is your problem? Not getting any at home?” Sam joked, before sobering instantly at the look Dean shot him. “What’s up? Are you guys fighting?”

“No, we’re not fighting,” Dean snapped, pushing the sandwich away, his appetite suddenly gone. “We’d actually have to see each other for that to happen.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that he was pretty swamped.”

“Nice to know he talks to you.”

“Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean he stopped being my friend, so don’t be a dick.”

Dean was in a rotten mood, and getting into an argument with Sam was the last thing he needed right now. Especially since most of their arguments ended with Sam either calling him out on his crappy behavior or gearing up for a sympathetic heart-to-heart. Judging from the look Sam was currently giving him, he was about to get a combination of both. 

“So,” Sam started, his voice way too casual. “Do you want talk about it?”

“Hell, no. There’s nothing to talk about. Cas is working. End of story.” And that really was the gist of it. Cas always threw himself into his work and when his caseload was heavy, Dean rarely saw his boyfriend. He understood long hours. Hell, he worked them as well, but this seemed different. It felt like there was something between them, more than just the long hours. And there wasn’t anything that Sam could say or do that would help.

“Fine,” Sam snapped, with a roll of his eyes. “Sorry for trying to help. What did I miss this morning?” he asked, shifting the conversation back to Dean’s preferred neutral zone.

“Just a morning spent with a dick. This guy Crowley is a piece of work. I felt dirty after just talking to him.”

“Yeah, the contract changes were slippery. I had to read it a couple of times and reword the language.”

“This entire thing stinks. I can smell it a mile away.”

“Did you see anything during the threat assessment that looks off?”

“Nope.” Dean shook his head. “Nothing I can put my finger on right now, but it’s not like I’m going to get a chance sitting behind this damn desk.”

“Well, I got the contract locked up, as long as he doesn’t make any more changes.” Sam glanced up at the knock on the door.

Bobby Singer, co-owner of Winchester Security, poked his head into Dean’s office. “Meeting’s been pushed back until four o’clock. Crowley had something come up at one of his job sites.”

Every time he heard that name, Dean felt a flash of annoyance wash over him. “Where the hell did you find this guy, Bobby? We don’t even have a signed contract and we’re jumping through hoops.”

“No more so than any other customer,” Bobby reminded him. 

“Why us?” Dean continued to gripe. “He’s loaded. Why doesn’t he hire his own security people?”

“And just what the hell do you think we are? What is your problem?”

“I don’t like the guy. A hundred bucks says he’s dirty.”

“He’s a developer who’s bringing a lot of jobs to the area.”

“He’s bulldozing his way in and forcing others out. If he was such an upstanding citizen, he wouldn’t need our protection.”

“Is this going to be a problem?” Bobby huffed, getting right to the point. “We don’t allow personal feelings to get in the way. Your dad and I both spent a lot of time reviewing this case, and we stand by our decision.”

Dean certainly wasn’t all right with it, but now was not the time to challenge Bobby. He knew that they did their due diligence before accepting any client, but this one left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I’ll do what I’m told, Bobby. I always do.”

“Bullshit,” Bobby snorted. “Pull the other one.”

Dean ignored Sam’s snicker and shot Bobby his best innocent smile. “I just want it on record that I warned you guys.”

“Noted,” Bobby replied with a shake of his head, before moving on down the hallway. 

Sam waited until they were alone again before he spoke. “Was that all about the client or was it something else?”

“You’ve been in the field. You’ve met this guy. Nothing sets you off?”

“I don’t like him,” Sam admitted, “but dealing with the legal stuff tends to bring out folks’ nasty sides. So far, he doesn’t seem to be any worse than some of the others. And we don’t necessarily make it a habit to defend criminals.”

“You think I’m wrong.”

“No. I think you’re pissed that you’re on admin time. You want to be back in the field and, until you are, nobody else can do the job as well as you can. And with Cas working late hours, the time is dragging by even slower.”

“It’s a stupid rule. I can do my job just fine. And I don’t need Cas to hold my hand.”

It was Winchester Security’s policy that any employee whose life was threatened in the line of duty had to take a mandatory break from fieldwork, as well as attend counseling sessions. Dean had been in a shoot-out where he had been pinned down for minutes before back up arrived. There had been a few bullets that had come precariously close to his position, close enough that John had decided the maximum of six months admin time was warranted. He was only three months into his sentence and had yet to make an appointment with the therapist. He was fine.

“Dean, you helped make that rule,” Sam reminded him.

“For the rookies,” he scowled. “We grew up around this business. I’m not some wet behind the ears kid. I’ve done my time, both in the Marines and here. I know what the hell I can and can’t handle.”

“Have you thought about making the appointment? Maybe if Dad and Bobby hear it from a professional, they’ll reconsider.”

“Doubt it. So, how’s Sarah?”

Sam watched him for a moment, but seemed to go with the change of subject. “She’s been pretty busy, too. We’re heading up the coast tomorrow after work to check out a few estate sales. Do you and Cas want to come along? We can make a weekend of it.”

“Dude, if I actually get a free weekend with Cas, we’re not going to spend it traipsing through dead people’s homes.”

“They’re not dead…never mind,” Sam sighed and reached down for his empty lunch bag. “Now that Crowley changed the time, I have a few hours to get some research done.”

Alone again, Dean turned his attention back to the threat assessment, looking for anything that might pose the slightest problem. Nothing. Frustrated, he hit send, forwarding the document to John and Bobby to review, and began working on the next item in his inbox.

 

 

Dean’s eyes drifted open and landed on the red illuminated numbers. 11:38. He heard the sound of the bathroom door and knew that Cas was home. Damn, he thought, he’s getting in later and later.

He waited until Cas came into the room and climbed under the covers before saying anything. “Dude, you have the most ridiculous hours for an accountant.”

“Forensic accountant,” Cas muttered.

“Still, it’s a shit ton of hours, Cas. Why doesn’t Anna have someone to help out or stop taking on so many clients?”

He felt more than heard the sigh and pretty much mirrored that sentiment. He didn’t want another fight, either, but his frustration was consistently getting the best of him. And it really wasn’t fair. Cas never complained when he worked long hours, but still.

“Not trying to start a fight. Just worried about you.”

“I know. It’s just a busy patch,” Cas mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow. “We’ll be caught up soon.”

Something in his tone struck Dean. He reached over and switched on the bedside lamp, glancing back over just in time to see Cas wince. “Headache?” he asked, sharper than intended.

“Yeah, but I already took something.”

“Did you eat?”

“Dean.”

That meant no, and he knew that Cas wouldn’t eat anything now. He switched the lamp off and settled back down, pulling his boyfriend close to him. The headache couldn’t have been too bad if Cas was talking, and the medicine would put him to sleep pretty soon. He threaded his fingers through Cas’ hair, lightly massaging his scalp. He was rewarded with a soft groan of pleasure.

“Tell me about your day.”

Dean kept up the light pressure and soft tone as he tried to lure Cas to sleep. “Nothing exciting about sitting behind a desk. We’ve got this new client who needs a security detail. His place is pretty secure, but he’s worried about being attacked out in public. I did his threat assessment and the guy…I don’t know. There’s something off.”

“Hmmm.”

“Anyway, Adam is heading up the team. Friggin’ Adam. That kid is so wet behind the ears.”

“Didn’t you train him?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he’s got enough experience for a job like this. If anything, I should be leading the team, with Adam as my second.”

“Does your dad agree?” Cas angled his head, allowing Dean better access to one side.

“He’s dead set on making me wait out the six months.”

“Maybe if you went ahead and saw the therapist, your dad would let you back in the field before the six months are up.”

“Have you been talking to Sam?”

“No. Why?”

“Nothing.” Dean shifted and brushed a kiss across Cas’ forehead. “Dad and Bobby are determined to stick with policy, no matter what I say or do. But I’ll deal. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Me? Why?”

“Well, you’re working all these late hours and now, the headaches.”

Cas pulled back a little to look up at Dean. “You were in a shoot-out and your life is in danger on a fairly regular basis, but you’re worried about me working late hours and having a headache?” 

“Well, yeah. Gotta look out for my baby,” he answered, pulling Cas back close to him.

 

***

Cas awoke slowly as the buzzing from the alarm clock filtered into his sleep. He glanced over at the empty spot next to him, realizing why Dean had not shut off the offending appliance. Reaching over, he noted the time, hit the ‘off’ button, and sank back down into the pillows.

“Rise and shine, bright eyes.”

Cas wasn’t a morning person on his best days, and most definitely not after a late night and a headache. He felt the mattress dip and then a warm pressure on his back. 

“I reset the alarm to let you sleep in a bit, but this is it.” Dexterous fingers began kneading tired back muscles. “I also brought you some coffee. Breakfast is downstairs, and I packed you a lunch.”

Cas rolled over and blinked up at his boyfriend. “You didn’t have to do all that,” he said, his voice still husky with sleep.

Dean leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “I was making some for myself, anyway.”

While that might have been true, Cas knew that Dean was trying to make sure that Cas took care of himself without coming right out and telling him what to do. He appreciated the gesture and the restraint.

“Thank you. You should have woken me earlier.” He placed a hand on Dean’s thigh and traced light patterns with his fingers.

Dean captured his hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “You needed the sleep.”

“I would have been fine,” he huffed.

“Maybe.” Dean leaned in for another kiss. “You can make it up to me tonight.”

“Deal.”

 

The coffee, along with the bagel sandwich that Dean had made, hit the spot. Cas entered his cubicle area feeling rested and alert, despite the amount of work that he knew was waiting for him. His caseload was pretty heavy, but he enjoyed the work. It wasn’t just long hours staring at spreadsheets. He felt a thrill at being able to piece together a picture from the numbers and facts, to discover what had been previously hidden.

By lunchtime, he was feeling pretty good about his chances of actually taking an honest-to-goodness lunch break. Deciding to eat outside, he sent Dean a quick email, thanking him for the sandwich and fruit. After hitting ‘send’ and locking his workstation, he reached for the small cooler bag and turned around, coming face to face with his boss.

“Anna.”

“Castiel, I’m glad I caught you,” she said, with a nod to the bag in his hand. “We’re having a quick staff meeting. It shouldn’t take more than a half hour.”

“Of course,” he answered, resigning himself to a late lunch at his desk. He traded his bag for a pen and a pad and followed her to the conference room.

Milton Accounting was a small family business with six accountants on staff, two of whom were forensic accountants. The company was started by Anna’s father, but Anna was the only Milton still working for the firm. Once her father had retired, she had stepped into his shoes and taken over the overall running of the business. Over the past few years, their clientele had been steadily growing, and Cas had found himself on the fast track to a fulfilling career.

He and Anna were the last ones to enter the room. He took the empty seat next to Rachel, while Anna took her usual spot at the head of the table.

“Sorry to hit you guys up at lunchtime, but this situation requires a timely response,” Anna began, making eye contact with each employee. “I have been asked to conduct an in-depth audit of a large family business. The client believes her husband has involved the business in illegal activity, and she would like for us to prove it. However, we are not the first company to have been approached, so we’ll already have that working against us.”

“It won’t be the first time that we’ve had to go into a somewhat hostile environment,” Rachel stated.

“No,” Anna agreed. “But the last firm did quit because threats were made.”

Everyone was silent. The investigative services that Milton Accounting provided did lead to more interesting cases, but nothing outright dangerous.

“It appears the husband may have attracted some criminal elements, as well. Her lawyer thinks the audit may reveal quite a bit, and these people are taking action to prevent that from happening.”

“Has any one been hurt?” Cas asked, remembering all too vividly how it felt to be targeted as a result of conducting an investigation.

“Nothing serious or that couldn’t be construed as accidental. I imagine things will get hotter as the audit progresses. My question for you is, how do you feel about taking on this job?”

Cas glanced over at Rachel and then back at Anna. “Whose case would it be?”

“Yours, if you accept. We’ll be working through her attorneys, so you should be able to stay relatively behind the scenes. But you will be the point man and first in the hot seat. The firm as a whole does experience a degree of risk, as well. That’s why I wanted to discuss this.”

“Do you think we’re in danger?” asked Penny, the office administrative assistant, her normal bubbly personality subdued under the weight of Anna’s words.

“No, I don’t. The client is filing for divorce, and the business is a point of contention. A hearing date is scheduled for less than three weeks away. I’m confident Cas can complete the audit by then.”

“Who is the client?” Rachel asked.

“I’ll reveal that once the contract is signed. Until then, I don’t see the need to disclose any more personal information. This case would be a major accolade for the firm, and I’m inclined to take it. Of course, I’m prepared to implement additional security measures as needed.” Another pause. “Does anyone have a problem with taking the case? Okay, good. Castiel, as lead auditor, are you comfortable with the assignment?”

Cas took a moment to consider everything he had just heard. He was certainly aware of the rare dangerous aspects of the job, having been in a similar situation a few years ago. However, he felt more than capable of conducting this audit within the established timeframe.

“Yes,” he nodded, already thinking of how he could juggle his current workload.

 

***

“Cas?” Dean called out, closing the front door behind him. Even though it was after nine o’clock on a Friday night, he’d been surprised to see Cas’ truck parked out front. He glanced around the downstairs, surprised to see take-out bags on the kitchen counter, along with wine glasses. Not receiving an answer, he headed upstairs to their shared home office. Sure enough, Cas was hunched over a bunch of papers spread out on the floor before him, so engrossed that he didn’t even look up when Dean entered the room.

He leaned against the doorframe and watched Cas, the way his long, elegant finger traced the columns of numbers, and how he nibbled on his bottom lip when his finger hovered over one particular item. 

“Bringing work home now?”

Cas glanced up and sent him a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.” He got to his feet and crossed over to Dean, brushing a quick kiss against his lips.

Before he could pull back, Dean reached out and pulled him back close, giving Cas a longer, more intimate kiss. Even if he was still working, it was nice having Cas home with him. “Not that I’m complaining, but to what do I owe the honor? I saw the take-out and wine glasses.”

Cas gave him a slightly smug smile. “I have some good news to share with you.”

“Oh, really?” Dean asked, playing along. “And what would that be?”

“I just landed a high profile audit that is sure to put my career and Milton Accounting in the league with the big boys,” Cas beamed.

“Another audit? On top of your current load?” Dean asked, and then could have kicked himself when he saw the smile slip from Cas’ face. “I mean, that’s pretty great that Anna has so much confidence in you,” he said quickly, trying to smooth things over. But Cas had pulled away and was starting to pick up the papers on the floor. 

Dean felt even worse when he thought about the dinner and celebration that Cas must have planned, based on the food and wine that were waiting downstairs. 

“I tried to call you,” Cas said, as if reading his thoughts. 

“Yeah, my phone died. I forgot to put the charger back in the car after I cleaned it out.”

“Where were you?” Cas asked, looking up at Dean, his eyes suddenly widening. “Did they let you back in the field?”

“I wish,” he snorted. “Nah, Lisa called and said that Ben was bummed because he didn’t have anyone to go to his games and asked if I was free. I figured you’d be working late, so why not.”

“So, you were with Ben and Lisa?”

“Yeah,” he answered, feeling guilty even though he had no way of knowing that he had been ruining Cas’ special night.

He walked over to his partner and took the papers from his hand. “We’re done working,” he announced with a saucy grin and a wink. “We have some celebrating to do.”

Cas blinked at him for a second before nodding. “Okay, just let me put this away.”

“Nope. You are officially off-duty until whatever time you have to get started tomorrow. Did you eat yet?”

“No. I came up here to do some work while waiting and lost track of the time.”

“Okay then, let’s go downstairs and get you fed, so we can commence with the celebrating.” Dean ushered him out of the office, turning off the light and shutting the door behind them. Tonight was for celebrating work, not doing it. 

He made Cas take a seat on the sofa while he fixed him a plate and poured a glass of wine. In honor of the special occasion, Cas took control of the remote and, sure enough, chose a documentary on the History Channel. But it was about Sherman’s march through Georgia, so Dean was equally entertained. As soon as Cas finished eating, Dean took his plate away and refilled his wine glass. Cas kept giving him odd looks, but he certainly didn’t object to the pampering, especially when Dean pulled Cas’ feet into his lap and started giving him a foot massage.

By the time they finished the documentary on Sherman, Cas was relaxed and slightly buzzed. Before heading upstairs for phase two, Dean reached over and pulled Cas onto his lap. Dean placed light kisses all along his jaw before resting his head against Cas’ shoulder, content for the moment to just hold him. “Mmmm,” he murmured, burrowing his face into Cas’ neck. “It sure is nice having you home in the evening.”

“Indeed it is.” Cas angled his head, allowing Dean better access. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

“Stop. This is your night. I’m sorry I’ve been giving you a hard time about it. You deserve this, and I’m proud of you.” Seeing Cas look at him like that made all those late hours and missed dates melt away. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” Cas suggested. Dean knew exactly what he was implying, and he was more than happy to oblige. Eventually. He and Cas had uneven sex drives, and if Cas was in the mood, Dean certainly didn’t want to miss that opportunity. Sex with Cas was beyond intense. Even though Cas was highly responsive, it took a long time for him to get off. And Dean enjoyed every minute of trying to get him there. But tonight, it would have to wait, because Dean wasn’t done yet. 

“After you,” he agreed, easing Cas off his lap, not letting on to what was next.

They made their way upstairs, kisses and soft touches along the way. “Go ahead and lie down,” Dean instructed when they reached the bedroom. “I’ll be right there.”

He went into the bathroom and started pulling out the items he would need. Taking the bottle of scented oil with him, he returned to their room. Cas had the lights dimmed and was already undressed and lying on the bed. Dean faltered a moment as took in the hard, lean lines of Cas’ physique. He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been attracted to that body. 

“I’m good, but not that good. You have to get closer. And why aren’t you getting naked?”

“Because we’re still celebrating. Now roll over,” Dean told him, holding up the bottle of oil.

Cas’ eyes widened with his smile, before he dutifully complied. He loved any type of massage and Dean loved touching him, so it was win-win. He poured a generous amount into his hand and began with the shoulders. He had learned early on how to put Cas to sleep with a massage, as well as how to get him worked up.

“I’m so damn proud of you, babe.” His hands worked through all the tired muscles, spurred on by the deep groans that Cas kept making. After he finished going along the entire length of him, Dean switched to a lighter, more teasing touch. His fingers danced lightly across the slick skin, drawing out breathy exhales and those other little sounds Dean loved so much. Leaning over, he nipped at the sensitive spot just above the tailbone, while his hand trailed down over Cas’ ass and between his legs. Cas immediately spread them, allowing him better access.

He was hard. Dean knew he would be. He continued suckling the skin, while his hand fondled Cas’ balls and skimmed across the base of his erection.

“Dean,” Cas gasped, his hips beginning to thrust against the light touch. 

Running his tongue along the cleft of Cas’ ass, Dean gripped him and began jerking him off with long, hard strokes.

The sounds coming from Cas had Dean hard and straining against the confines of his jeans. No way was he touching himself, though, not yet. With one last nip along the fleshy part of his cheeks, Dean pulled away. “Roll over,” he whispered, ignoring Cas’ whine of protest.

His lover flipped over onto his back, allowing Dean to see the effects of his massage. A red blush stained his cheeks and flowed down to his chest. His eyes were dazed, and his lips were slightly swollen from where Cas had been biting down on them. 

“Almost, babe,” he promised before pouring more oil into his hand. He started with Cas’ legs and worked his way up, making sure to run his hands along the insides of his thighs. He ignored the curses Cas threw at him when he skipped his groin and went right up to his chest. Dean figured he was forgiven when he sucked a nipple into his mouth and teased the other one with his oil-slicked fingers.

Cas threw back his head and let out a shout that Dean was pretty sure the neighbors heard. By now, he was thrusting up, looking for any type of friction. Dean intercepted his hand before he could do it for himself. 

He pulled back and looked at Cas, and damn, if he wasn’t ready to blow right then. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed shakily, as if he was the one who had just been worked over.

Cas lunged up and began pulling at Dean’s clothes. He was so far gone that there was no teasing involved, just straight to the point, getting naked. When Cas pushed his tongue into his mouth, Dean vaguely wondered when the tables had been turned on him, but realized he didn’t care when Cas pulled him down onto the bed and crawled on top of him. He spread his legs eagerly, his cock relishing the friction of Cas’ oil-slicked body dragging against it. 

Cas lined them up and began to thrust; setting a rhythm that had Dean already beginning to feel the pull of his orgasm. Cas’ lips were hot on his throat as he sucked and nibbled, pulling needy cries out of Dean. He bucked up against him, spreading his legs wider in an attempt to bring Cas closer.

“Fuck, Cas, just like that, babe.” He didn’t curse much but good sex always had him rambling with the dirty talk. Fortunately, it got Cas hot, too. He made some sound, but Dean was too far gone to know what it was. He knew he was about to come, and Cas knew it, too, because the bastard changed his rhythm, slowing down and grinding in a way that had Dean right on edge. 

“Cas,” he moaned. “More.”

Cas leaned to one side and reached between them, gripping their cocks together. Two long strokes, and Dean was shooting hard, his body bowing up and tensing around Cas as he shot thick, white streaks between them.

“Fuck,” he gasped, as soon as he caught his breath. The haze cleared just enough for him to realize that Cas hadn’t come yet, but he knew his lover well enough to know that he was close. He’d let go of himself and was still thrusting hard against Dean in uneven strokes.

Reaching down, he ran his hand through the come splattered across his chest, and then gripped Cas’ ass. “Come here, babe,” he muttered, pulling the other man down so that he was flush against his chest. He ran his hands along his ass, dipping his drenched fingers into the cleft, applying the slightest bit of pressure. Cas came hard, a soft cry falling from his lips as his body tensed up and his hips stuttered wildly. Dean felt the hot liquid spill between them before Cas relaxed against him. Shifting slightly to the side, Dean kept his arms around Cas, keeping him close.

Dean pressed his lips against Cas’ forehead and breathed in the scent of him, still tingling from own his toe-curling orgasm. “Damn.”

“Uh huh.”

He chuckled slightly. Cas was always out of it right after he came, and Dean appreciated the ego boost of knowing that he had screwed his boyfriend senseless.

“We should get cleaned up,” Cas murmured, already sounding drowsy.

Dean knew he was right, but he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. It had been a while since they had been able to be together like this and he wanted to relish every moment. “Not yet. I promise I’ll clean us up. Just wanna lie here for a while.”

“Hmmm.” Cas nuzzled closer, already half asleep.

“Congratulations, babe,” Dean whispered.

 

***

Cas was over an hour late by the time he returned to the office and he had five missed calls from Dean. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to the weekend, even if he wasn’t too sure about spending it with Dean’s family. Still, it would be nice to forget about work and clear his mind for a while. He’d started the new audit on Monday and had been going nonstop since then. He stepped off the elevator and walked down the hallway to the Milton Accounting suite, fully expecting to see Dean in the reception area. 

“Hi, Cas,” Penny greeted him with her usual warm smile. “Good meeting?”

“Yes, thank you. Is Dean here?” he asked. He had seen the Impala parked downstairs, and there weren’t any shops or restaurants nearby for Dean to visit, just office buildings. 

“He’s back with Anna. I emailed you your messages.”

Cas forced a smile and thanked the young woman before heading back to his work area. It had happened a long time ago, but he still hated it whenever Dean spent any time alone with Anna. It was irrational, but he always felt this way whenever he was around any of Dean’s past lovers. He wondered if he would feel the same way if they were men. 

Not quite ready to see them together, he decided to clear his desk so that he and Dean could hurry up and leave. He had just opened up his email when he heard Dean’s voice enter the area.

“There you are. Dude, you have got to start answering your phone.”

“Sorry. The meeting ran longer than expected.”

“Were there any problems?” Anna asked, coming up behind Dean.

“No. We had to call in the office manager regarding some questionable expenses, but nothing out of the usual.” 

Anna nodded, seeming satisfied. “He’s right. You should have checked in. Penny had to call over to Whiteler and Associates.”

“It’s no different than any other time,” Cas pointed out, not really caring for the small reproach. “I didn’t have any other pending appointments.”

Anna raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t call him on it. “We’ll talk on Monday. Enjoy your weekend, guys.”

“Thanks, Anna. If you had called me, then I could have picked you up,” Dean pointed out. 

“I didn’t mind taking the bus. It gave me some time to clear my head. How long have you been waiting?”

“About an hour.” Dean leaned his hip against the desk and motioned towards the computer. “How much longer before we can go?”

“Just a few emails.” He felt that uneasy twist at the thought of Dean spending the past hour with Anna. He pushed it away as he tried to focus on the loose ends that he needed to tie up before leaving for the day. At this point, he wasn’t really leaving early anymore. “Still don’t understand why I couldn’t have just driven myself in today.”

“Because I want to get out there early. We’re already going to be dealing with rush hour traffic as is.”

“What’s the big rush? We’re spending the entire weekend, and the party isn’t until tomorrow.” The Winchesters were a close bunch, but Dean had been with them just a few hours ago. And they were spending the weekend at his parent’s farm. He didn’t see where a few hours made that much difference.

“I want to be there when Ben gets there. We’re gonna throw the ball around before it gets too dark.”

“Ben?” he echoed, pulling his eyes away from the screen and back up towards Dean.

“Yeah, Ben and Lisa are staying over, too. Dad and I are going to take Ben fishing early tomorrow morning. But don’t worry. I promise I won’t wake you up.”

Cas’ fingers ghosted over his keyboard as he realized just what he was in for this weekend. He wanted to refuse, to demand that Dean take him home instead, but he always sounded so eager whenever he talked about Ben. Lisa wasn’t just his ex. For the longest time, Dean had thought Ben was his son, and Cas was convinced that he still wished it were true. So where did that leave him? 

“Just give me a minute, and I’ll be ready to go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working at his family's private security firm in Maryland, Dean Winchester is frustrated by his current desk assignment as well as how little he sees his live-in boyfriend, Castiel Adler. When Cas is hurt during one of his audits, Dean is stunned to find out just how much distance has grown between them. Now he must find a way to bridge that gap while keeping Cas safe.

Dean loved spending time at his family’s farm: getting out of the city and into the wide-open spaces. His mom always welcomed her boys back with open arms and home cooked meals. He and Cas had indeed spent well over an hour in traffic. The air in the Impala had been tense and stifling, as Cas barely said a word. Dean figured it was just tension from all the late hours. He was hoping that the weekend away would help relieve some of that work stress and get them back on even footing.

“And who says a man’s place isn’t in the kitchen?”

Dean looked up as Sam and his girlfriend, Sarah, entered the kitchen. “’Bout time you guys got here,” he said, returning Sarah’s cheeky smile. “Mom cooked plenty if you guys are hungry.”

“Nah, we’re good,” Sarah told him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. “Just hand me a beer and lead me to the fire pit.”

“Good choice.” Dean pulled two more bottles out of the refrigerator and passed them over. He also snagged another root beer for Ben and placed it on the tray he was carrying back outside. The fire pit was the best part of the evening for him. Everyone gathered around after dark and lit the fire, and then sat around talking and eating snacks.

“Don’t tell me my boy is drinking root beer,” Sarah laughed.

“Nah, this is for Ben.”

“Ben? Lisa’s here?” Sarah asked, the smile slipping from her face.

“Yeah. What?”

“Um, nothing,” she said, shooting a quick glance over towards Sam. “I’m going to run on out and say hi to everyone. Bring my beer? Oh, and those brownies your mom made.”

Sam nodded and waited for Sarah to leave the room before turning back to Dean with raised eyebrows. “You invited Lisa and Ben to sleep over?”

“No, Mom did. Dude, the fishing trip. You’re still going, right?”

“I thought they were driving out. I didn’t think they were staying over.”

“The hell is the big deal? There’s plenty of room.” Dean reached for the brownie platter and slid it over towards Sam. “They’ve been out here lots of times.”

“Where’s Cas?” Sarah asked, as she came back into the kitchen.

“Outside,” Dean answered, pausing at her irritated frown. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s not outside with everyone else.”

“Maybe he went to the bathroom,” Dean shrugged.

Sarah shook her head and shot Sam another look before leaving the kitchen again. 

“Okay, what was that?”

Sam fiddled with the clear wrap covering the brownies. “She’s concerned about Cas. You have to admit, it is strange.”

“What is?” Dean asked slowly, already knowing that he wasn’t going to like where this was heading.

“How comfortable do you think Sarah would feel if Mom and Dad invited Ruby here to spend the night and I was okay with it?"

“Ruby was a skank.”

“Not the point, Dean. Look, you asked why Sarah was upset and that’s why. She’s worried that Cas might feel awkward being here with Lisa.”

“No way,“ Dean shook his head. “Cas isn’t like that.”

“Dean, you lived with her for over three years. You thought Ben was your son. You don’t think that might make Cas a little uncomfortable?”

“I think if it did, he’d tell me. He knows I’m with him, and if he does have a problem with it, then maybe he should be the one telling me, not you or your girlfriend.” This wasn’t the first time they had been around Lisa, and Cas had never once indicated that he had a problem with it.

“Fine.” Sam threw his hands up. “You asked, so I told you. But you’re right. This is your relationship. You handle it. I do know one thing, though. If there was the slightest chance that I was screwing up, you’d tell me, and don’t even bother denying it. You were all over me about Ruby.”

“Nobody is screwing anything up, but thanks for the confidence. You act like I don’t even care about him.”

“I know you do, but I think that you’re just a little too close to this one.”

“Well, thanks, but I think I’ve got this one.” Dean picked up the tray of drinks and snacks and headed back out towards the yard. 

“What? Did you brew the beer yourself?” his dad teased, reaching for one off the tray.

Dean tossed him an easy smile as he passed the refreshments around. Cas and Sarah weren’t outside. 

“Where’s Cas?”

“We thought he was with you. He went inside right after you did.” Mary gave him a look. “Is something wrong?”

“No. He just had a rough week. I’m gonna go check on him, make sure it’s not a headache or anything.” Dean turned to head back into the house and almost bumped into Sam, who had come up quietly behind him. He shot his brother a warning glare and then stomped past him back up to the house.

After clearing the downstairs, he headed up towards his room. The light was on and the door was only slightly ajar. He could hear Sarah’s voice.

“Are you sure?”

He felt a little guilty about eavesdropping, but Cas wasn’t always the most forthcoming person, and he could use a little help right now.

“I’m fine,” Cas replied. “It’s just a small headache. It’s been a long week.”

“All right.” Sarah didn’t sound convinced. “You know, growing up, I just had my dad. Being around the Winchesters can be a bit overwhelming. I used to feel guilty whenever I just wanted to spend time alone with Sam. I didn’t tell him, and it became this thing between us. Dean would understand if you needed some space.”

“He would,” Dean agreed, stepping into the room.

Sarah gave Cas a quick smile before she stood up and headed out. She quietly closed the door behind her.

Dean walked over and sat on the bed beside Cas. “So, a headache?” he asked.

“Hmm.” Cas neither confirmed nor denied his question.

But Dean already knew. He’d seen enough of the headaches to know the symptoms. No, it was definitely something else. “You know, I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

Cas blew out an angry huff. “Maybe everything isn’t for you to fix, Dean.”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means…what do you want, Dean?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“No,” Cas shook his head. “I mean, what do you want out of life, this relationship?”

Dean stared at him for a moment, not following. “What are you asking me, specifically?”

“Do you want to be with Lisa?”

“What? I’m here with you.”

“Actually, you’re here with both of us, Dean.”

“Okay, fine, but I’m sleeping with you.”

“In the bed that you used to sleep in with her. We can do this all night. I’m not trying to start a fight, honestly. I know how important family is to you. I knew when we got together that you and Lisa had only broken up because Ben’s father was back in the picture. He’s gone, and Ben still sees you as his father. I would,” Cas swallowed and tried again. “I would understand if you wanted to try to be a family with them again.”

Dean felt that same stab of hurt that he got every time he thought of losing Ben, but now it was coupled with something else. “Cas, I can’t walk away from him. I love that kid as if he were my own. But I’m with you. Being with Lisa isn’t an option.”

“I can’t give you a family, Dean.”

He reached over and laid his hand on top of Cas’. “I have family, Cas. I just need you to be a part of it. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m asking anyway. Are you okay with this?”

Cas nodded and squeezed his hand. 

“So we good?” Dean asked, not daring to believe that it could be this easy. 

“We’re good,” Cas replied. 

“Come here.” Relief flooded through him as he pulled Cas in close for a kiss. “Now, how’s that headache?”

“Not so bad,” Cas murmured against his lips. “We should head back downstairs.”

“In a minute,” Dean promised, opening his mouth and trying to show Cas through his actions just how much he cared.

It was more like ten before they straightened their clothes and headed back down. The fire was still going and everyone was sitting around, talking and laughing. Dean dropped down into his chair, and before Cas could sit in his, Dean pulled him onto his lap. He felt Cas tense up, but he refused to let go. He usually didn’t do overt displays of affection, as Cas was rather private, but maybe that was where he’d been wrong. Cas would give him hell later for having him sit on his lap like a teenage girl, but Dean wanted to send a clear message as to his feelings for this man.

 

***

Monday mornings were always difficult for Cas. He wasn’t sure why. He loved his job, even if it was tiring. He was definitely making headway on the audit and was sure that he would have it wrapped up in time. His other accounts were caught up so, all in all, he didn’t have too terrible a day in front of him. Still, he was moving slowly this morning, his two cups of coffee doing little to perk him up.

“Morning,” Penny smiled, as he passed by her desk.

“Good morning. How was your weekend?”

“Far too short,” she quipped. “How about yours?”

Despite the rocky start, his weekend had turned out quite nicely. After Dean returned from the morning fishing trip, he had stayed fairly close to Cas, peppering him with of lots of attention from light touches to hugs and kisses. At first, Cas had been embarrassed, as he was still fairly uncomfortable around John and Mary, but he had enjoyed the extra affection. 

“It was good,” he replied.

“Anna is waiting to speak with you. Hold your calls?”

“Please.”

He dropped his case off in his work area and headed over to Anna’s office. He gave a quick knock on her doorframe.

“Morning, Castiel.” She motioned for him to close the door behind him. “You’re heading over to Whiteler’s office today, right?”

“I am,” he confirmed, taking one of the empty seats in front of her desk.

“How’s it going?”

“I’ve uncovered a few bank accounts, as well as some property. It’s not clear yet where he actually got the funds, but I think I’m close. This was in my email report. Has something happened?”

“Mrs. Walker has just increased her personal security. She wasn’t openly threatened or attacked, but she stated that she was uncomfortable with some recent events.”

“Does she think it’s because of what I’m uncovering?”

Anna shrugged. “You or the investigator that the lawyer hired. Someone is getting antsy, whether it’s the husband or one of his associates.”

“I think I might be onto an associate.”

“And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?” Anna frowned.

“I just did. As for the report, it’s in there. I noticed a couple of delivery routes that occasionally have delays and extra mileage costs. It’s pretty embedded, but it happens too often to be coincidental. And since there are no supporting documents….”

“This could be it,” Anna finished. “Good job.”

“Thank you, but I don’t have anything concrete yet.”

“Well, someone must be getting close if Mrs. Walker felt the need to increase security. I spoke to the management company and they’re increasing security here, as well. Has Dean mentioned any concerns?”

“Why would he?”

“Whiteler is going after this pretty aggressively. You could easily be caught in the crossfire.”

“I’m well aware,” Cas told her.

“Okay, just make sure you check in.”

Cas gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He was close. Even if he didn’t find out the identity of the business associate, he had more than enough evidence for Mrs. Walker to win her case and possibly press criminal charges, as well.

 

***

Dean made a rude hand gesture at the offended driver who was currently shouting obscenities at him for daring to slip into the last open parking spot along the street. And thank the stars he did, because if he had to park several blocks away after the hour he just spent in gridlock, then he was going to hurt someone, customer be damned. He’d been right, but he certainly wasn’t feeling any satisfaction right now. Of course, he was glad that Adam wasn’t hurt, but he didn’t appreciate being the one called to bail him out.

“If it makes you feel better, go ahead and say it.”

Dean glanced over at his father. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Don’t get too cocky. You know, one could always say that your threat assessment should have taken the stepdaughter into account,” John pointed out reasonably.

“Yeah, and one could always kiss my ass. There’s no way this chick should have blind-sided Adam.” Admittedly, Meg was a handful, but they were still the professionals. There had to have been signs along the way. Meg Masters had made it quite clear that she could care less about her stepfather and would have no part in anything that saved Crowley’s life. Nor did she appreciate the protection they offered her. Dean was beginning to think that the only person out to do Crowley harm was Meg.

He scanned the street, looking for any sign of impending trouble. It was early evening and the sidewalk was crowded with diners coming and going from various eateries.

They stepped into the foyer of the restaurant, and Dean was relieved to find that Adam had at least managed to contain the situation. Or rather, the local police department had. Adam, Meg, and a few officers were waiting in a closed banquet room. 

He pulled Adam aside while John worked his magic with the police. “What the hell happened?”

Adam shot a glare towards the sullen, dark-haired woman who was glaring back at him. “She waited until the main course was served and Crowley and his associates were deep in conversation. She started calling him out on all kinds of stuff and it just escalated from there.”

“Where’s Crowley now?” Dean asked.

“Jake escorted him home.”

“Was he hurt?”

“She winged him with a coffee cup.”

“And you?” He nodded towards the angry, red scratches on Adam’s cheek.

“This is the worst of it.” Adam shuffled a couple of steps further away from Meg and lowered his voice. “Dean, I swear I didn’t see this coming. You’ve seen the reports. She’s been all talk. And the minute she started up tonight, we tried to get her out of here. That’s when she did this.” He pointed towards his face.

Dean seriously hated this case. Yeah, he was absolutely going to take that ‘I told you so.’ He didn’t even want to think about what it was going to take to smooth this over with Crowley.

“Gentleman, where are we with this?” John asked the room at large.

“Is the restaurant pressing charges?”

“Crowley’s business manager flashed a wad of cash and smoothed it all over,” said Adam.

Of course. That’s exactly what he’d expect from this client. He felt his phone vibrate against his hip. He took one last glance at Meg’s smug demeanor before turning towards the officer. “She assaulted a member of our staff, and we’re pressing charges.” He enjoyed the look of outrage that crossed Meg’s face before he turned away to take his call.

“Winchester. Yeah, Anna, what’s up? What? Slow down.” Dean felt sick as her words poured through the connection. “Where? I’m on my way.”

“Let’s go,” he barked at John, already heading out of the room. Thankfully, his father was already by his side and in step with him. 

“What happened?”

“Some type of bomb threat at an office where Cas was conducting an audit. He and a bunch of others got hurt.”

“Hurt how? Did it go off?”

“I don’t know,” he snapped, pulling out his keys only to have John reach over and grab them.

“I’m driving.”

Dean wanted to argue, needed to focus on something, anything to ground himself. 

“Dean. Dean,” John repeated, a bit more forcefully. “Where is he?”

“Holy Cross. Silver Spring.”

“Okay. Now, call Sam and have him meet us there. And then call Bobby and have him coordinate with Adam and follow up with Crowley.”

Grateful for something to do, Dean made the calls and tried to push the ‘what-ifs’ from his mind.

 

***

Dean was out of the car before John could come to a complete stop in the parking lot. He burst through the emergency room doors and scanned the area until he saw Anna over in the corner.

“What the hell happened?”

“He’s going to be all right. They’re moving him to a room now.”

Anna tried to get Dean to sit down, but he wasn’t listening. He wanted to see his boyfriend, see with his own eyes that he was all right. 

“Dean, calm down,” Anna tugged on his arm and tried to pull him over to the waiting room chairs. “I just checked with the nurse’s station two minutes ago. They’ll let us know as soon as he’s settled in his room. They had to run some tests. He’s banged up enough to need to stay maybe a day or two, but he’s stable and not in any danger. A wrenched back, sprained wrist, bruising on the face, and a mild concussion.”

“Okay, okay, so nothing serious.” Dean nodded, trying to get control and appreciating the solid weight of his father’s hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?” John asked. 

“A bomb threat was called into the office building where Castiel was working,” Anna explained. “They set off a smoke bomb, which triggered the alarm system, as well as wide-spread panic. The bomb itself was harmless, but it was chaos in the stairwells and a few people fell, Cas included.”

Dean took a steadying breath as he processed what he was hearing.

“Did you guys see anything?”

It took him a moment to figure out what Anna was asking. “How would we see anything?”

“I thought…I thought you were keeping an eye on Castiel, considering the risk involved.”

“Risk? You think this is because of the audit?”

“I thought he told you,” Anna murmured, sympathy making her voice soft.

Dean turned away from them, thinking of all the late hours when Cas was out there all alone, or taking the bus without any kind of protection. And he had never said a word to Dean.

“Dean?”

He turned around and saw his brother standing next to Anna, while his father was talking to the nurse. 

“I need to get back and figure out what’s going on. I’m assuming Cas will be with you?”

Dean assured Anna that he had Cas and would be in touch. His father managed to get Cas’ room number and got Sam up to speed. Dean was still trying to process everything he’d just learned. So many emotions were churning through him and he felt as if he was just running on autopilot.

 

It was another ten minutes before Dean was allowed to see Cas. Dean walked into the room and almost buckled when he saw Cas laid out on the white hospital bed. He already had an image in his mind, based on Anna’s description, but he wasn’t prepared for this. There was a bandage on Cas’ temple, right up by his hairline. The left side of his face was red and beginning to swell. Dean felt so angry and helpless. He had devoted his life to protecting people and he couldn’t even keep his lover safe.

He reached out and took hold of Cas’ hand, paying careful attention to the IV.

“Hey, bright eyes. I’m here.”

“Dean,” Cas grimaced, fighting drooping eyelids.

“Yeah, babe, it’s me.” The nurse had warned him that the medication and stress from the day might make him drowsy, but Cas seemed to be trying to fight the effects.

“Where’s Anna?”

“She left to make sure everyone was okay. Don’t worry. We’ll keep an eye out,” Dean promised, sending a look over to John, who nodded in return.

“What about the ones who came in with me?” Cas asked, trying to push himself up, only to hiss in pain at the extra pressure on his wrist.

“Cas, take it easy, man. We’ll check into it, but for right now, I need you to settle down.”

“Dean, I’m fine,” Cas protested.

And with that little word, Dean snapped.

“Fine? I don’t think ending up in a hospital after a bomb goes off falls under the category of ‘fine.’” 

“Dean,” Sam called to him, but he barely spared his brother a glance. All the fear and adrenaline was pushing forward and spilling out. And Cas was acting as if this was no big deal.

“What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“That’s enough,” Cas growled.

“No, it’s not! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” he shouted.

“Dean!”

He pulled back, trained to always obey the voice of John Winchester.

“Let’s take a walk. Now.”

Dean took one last look at Cas, who was glaring defiantly at him, before storming out after John. 

His father waited until they were downstairs in the cafeteria with coffee and pie before he said anything. “Calmed down yet?”

“Should I be?” he snapped, pushing the food around the plate.

“If you want to keep this relationship, then yes.”

“So, what? You don’t think I have a right to be upset? The hell am I even bothering for? You don’t even like Cas.”

“Careful,” John warned.

“Just speaking the truth. You guys act like you wish I was still with Lisa.”

“Don’t push your irresponsibility off on me.”

“My—”

“Yours,” John cut in, dropping his own fork and leaning forward. “The minute Lisa told you Ben was yours, you were on board. You gave us a grandchild, and now you’re asking your mother and me to just shift gears, all because you and Lisa can’t get your shit straight. Your mother and I like Cas just fine,” John continued before Dean could say anything. “We know that he’s not overly comfortable around us, but that has more to do with you than us.”

Dean pushed his plate away and glared at his father. “Seriously, my boyfriend is laid out in a room upstairs, and all you can do is tell me how much I’m screwing up?”

John’s expression softened. “I’m trying to help you. Cas is not someone who needs to be protected.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if that was Mom upstairs.”

“No,” John agreed. “But Cas isn’t your mother or Lisa. From what you’ve told me, he’s had to take care of himself from a very early age. The uncle who raised him has nothing to do with him. He doesn’t have a family support system. He’s a fighter. He had to be. He’s only going to let you baby him for so long.”

“What is so wrong with wanting to keep him safe?” Dean asked, frustration churning through him.

“Nothing. Just figure out how to do this in a way that works for both of you. I know you’re scared and angry, but if you keep coming at him like that, he’s going to pull back.”

Dean listened and felt the fight drain out of him. How did he and Cas end up back here?

He went back upstairs and stood in the hallway near the door until he caught Sam’s attention.

“How is he?” he asked when Sam came out.

“How do you think he is?”

“Knowing Cas, pissed.”

“Try again,” Sam scoffed. “You made him cry, you ass.”

“Bullshit. Cas doesn’t cry.”

“He does when he’s hopped up on meds after going through a terrifying experience and then his boyfriend yells at him.”

Dean ran a hand over his face, regretting his earlier rash outburst. “I just lost it.”

“I know,” Sam offered. “Just go easy on him right now.”

“I will,” he promised, glancing towards the room. “Did he really cry?”

“A few tears,” Sam shrugged. “But you were right. He was more pissed than anything. Is Dad still here?”

“Nah, he’s out trying to figure out what the hell happened.”

“Okay, I’m going to tie up some loose ends and then I’ll be back.”

Dean was grateful for his family and was glad that they had been here, but now, it was time for him to step up and be there for Cas.

 

***

Cas bit back a groan of pain as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position. He hated hospitals and wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed. Everything hurt, the medicine was making him feel completely wasted, and his boyfriend had walked out on him. He was definitely ready for this day to be over.

He glanced up when Dean stepped through the doorway. Cas hated himself for the small flutter of excitement that he felt upon seeing Dean. He wanted to be angry; hell, he deserved to be angry. 

“Hey, babe,” Dean said softly as he walked over to the bed. 

Cas didn’t answer him. He just wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. He had spent the past hour with Sam, trying not to think about how hurt he had been when Dean had walked out earlier. And right now, he just wasn’t sure he had the energy to deal with him.

“You doing okay?” The question fell flat as Cas flicked a glance at him and then looked away. “Damn it, Cas. This isn’t…I didn’t mean to come at you like that.”

Cas wasn’t quite ready to forgive and forget, and Dean must have picked up on that as he took a seat in the chair across from the bed. He could see the tension that Dean was holding in by how stiffly he moved and how his eyes kept darting around the room. It hurt Cas to talk and he just wanted to close his eyes, but they needed to clear the air.

“You’re angry.”

“Yeah, Cas, I’m angry. And scared. If you had just told me—”

“Then what, Dean? What were you going to do? Follow me around and hold my hand while peeking into every dark corner?”

“That’s sure as hell better than nothing.”

Cas rarely saw Dean when he was working a case with the exception of when he had been the client. But that had been different. There had been no question that his life was in danger, and their relationship had been new. Now, they’ve been together for a while. Dean should know Cas the same way that Cas knows him. But Dean was a protector. He had no qualms about protecting his family or dishing out a little Winchester justice. All of them were like that, even Sam underneath his polished appearance and law degree. The Winchesters were wild and fierce, and Cas loved that about Dean, except for those times, like now, when it made him feel so small.

“Look, Cas, I get it. Really, I do. I was out of line earlier, and I apologize. But you can’t honestly expect me to not be upset.”

“Sam was upset, but he didn’t fly off the handle.”

“Are you kidding me? Sam isn’t in love with you. And don’t think for a minute that he wouldn’t be the same way with Sarah.”

Cas sighed. He didn’t want to argue. When Dean made up his mind, there was no changing it.

“Don’t you have to go?” he asked, half hoping he would and half hoping his boyfriend, not the private security specialist, would stay. He immediately regretted his question, though, when he saw the hurt flash across Dean’s face.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Damn him for putting this on him. Cas was still hurt by the earlier outburst and the medication was making it even harder for him to nurse those wounds. “I don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t want to fight either, babe.” Dean moved closer and perched on the side of the bed, carefully threading his fingers through Cas’. “When Anna called, I almost lost it. Just the thought,” he looked away when his voice broke.

“Dean.” 

Dean cleared his throat and turned around to meet his eyes. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Cas nodded. He knew that there was more that needed to be said, but right now, he was going to take the reprieve that he’d been offered. He closed his eyes and allowed the medication to pull him under.

 

***

Dean eased the car to a stop, hoping that the ride hadn’t been too jarring. A quick glance over confirmed that it had been. Cas had closed his eyes and his lips were compressed into a tight line. His fist was clenched, and he was taking short little breaths through his nose. “Sorry,” Dean apologized. “I tried to keep it as smooth as possible.”

Cas drew in a deep breath and opened his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Are you ready to get out or do you need a minute?”

“A minute, please.”

“You know, it’s only been two days. You can take the painkillers, dude. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“That’s not it.”

“Really?” Dean challenged.

Even through his discomfort, Cas still managed to shoot him a look. “I don’t like how they make me feel.”

“Okay, but you’re going to wish you’d taken them.”

“And if you had just taken me home, I would already be comfortable in my own bed.”

“Not going to happen,” Dean replied, looking out at the large farmhouse. It wasn’t their place, but it was still home. And it was safe. He was doing his best to heed his dad’s advice, but this was non-negotiable. This was the safest place for Cas right now. “Let me know when you’re ready to go in.”

By the time he got Cas settled into his bedroom, Dean was seriously thinking of slipping his boyfriend a painkiller. He was obviously hurting, but was way too stubborn to give in and ask for anything. He wasn’t due for another muscle relaxant for a few more hours, but judging from Cas’ pinched expression, they weren’t even working.

“Okay, hold up.” He positioned himself to help ease Cas onto the side of the bed, mindful of his wrist. Cas was lucky that the back strain was the worst of his injuries, but it was still a bitch to deal with. He quickly took off Cas’ shoes, again being careful not to jar him or pull on his legs. Dean got him lying on his side, placing a pillow between his knees.

“Sit tight. I’m going to get an ice pack.”

“No,” Cas whispered. “I just want to rest.”

“Cas—”

“Please. Just stay,” Cas murmured, without opening his eyes. 

Dean hesitated a moment, knowing that the ice would go a long way towards Cas feeling better sooner. But his lover’s miserable look convinced him to just give Cas some space right now. He grabbed the light throw from the foot of the bed and laid it over him. Then, kicking off his own shoes, he gently crawled onto the bed next to Cas. Dean got as close as he dared so as not to jostle him. It felt good to be back on familiar ground, lying here with him. He was well aware that Cas was still frustrated with him, but he’d just have to get over it. There was no way in hell that he was going to roll over on this one.

 

It was dark by the time he woke. Cas was still asleep, so he eased out of the bed and went downstairs. Dropping down onto the sofa beside his mother, Dean leaned over until he was nudged up against her. Mary shifted a little until he fit perfectly against her side.

“How is he?” she asked, muting the television.

“Still asleep. Checking out and coming here really drained him.”

“And how are you?”

Good question. “I’m trying. I feel so damn helpless right now.”

“Hmm, trust me. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing right now.”

Dean snorted. “Dad says I’m smothering him.”

“I hardly think that Cas would consider getting massages while watching historical documentaries with you as smothering.”

He twisted around and looked up at her.

“Don’t look so surprised,” she chided. “Of course we notice these things.”

Dean thought back to his conversation with his father and wondered just how much they had been paying attention. “So, you think I’m doing the right thing?”

Mary hummed for a moment. “I think…that protecting those you love is always the right thing. Just be in tune with what he needs and use the resources available to you. Focus on him and let us help. This isn’t like before, honey. Cas isn’t hiring you to be his bodyguard. You’re in a relationship.”

“Yeah, okay,” he answered, even though he wasn’t really sure if there was a difference.

“Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“You could always eat,” Mary quipped. “Go see if you can get Cas to eat, and I’ll heat something up for you.”

Dean gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back upstairs. He was still feeling uneasy, but talking to his mom always made things a little better.

He reached the top of the stairs just in time to see Cas stumbling his way down the hall. “Hey, hey, hold up.” He rushed over to Cas’ side, his arms outstretched, ready to spot him. “The hell are you doing up?”

“Bathroom,” Cas ground out, continuing his slow shuffle.

“You should have called me.”

“I think I can manage to relieve myself.”

“Maybe, but you know I don’t mind holding it for you.”

“Dean,” Cas hissed, trying to throw a glance over his shoulder.

“Calm down,” he chuckled. “Nobody’s up here but us.”

They reached the bathroom door and Cas hesitated.

“You’re kidding? Dude, you don’t even close the door at home. All right. Fine,” he relented. He closed the door and waited outside of it. He was just about to give a ‘just checking’ knock when he heard the shower turn on.

“Dammit,” he muttered, opening the door just in time to see Cas struggling to get his shirt off. “The hell are you trying to do?” He reached past Cas and turned off the water.

Defiant blue eyes crashed with equally stubborn green eyes. “Dean, I want to take a shower.”

“Cas, you can barely stand. No way is getting into a slippery bath tub a good idea.”

Cas didn’t say anything. He just stood there, giving Dean the glare that usually preceded Dean capitulating to most of their arguments. Not this time, though.

“I’ll sponge you down, like they did at the hospital. You’ll be good as new,” he offered with a slight grin and patient tone that completely belied how he was feeling at the moment.

“I want to bathe.” Cas’ statement would have been fiercely impressive, had he not needed to brace himself against the bathroom counter for support.

Dean knew he could win this one. Cas was in no condition to wait him out, but he could hear his mother’s voice. He needed to do this in a way that was good for Cas. 

“Only if we take one together,” Dean offered, not overly happy with the compromise, but willing to do it to keep the peace. “Take it or leave it. It’s either shower with me or back to bed.”

Cas wasn’t a gracious loser and, with a lack of medication in his system, Dean was impressed that he was civil at all. He didn’t know what it was that was making Cas so difficult. They’d taken care of each other before, nursed one another through colds and other trying times. He turned the taps back on and set about helping Cas out of his clothes. It was difficult, because not only was Cas injured, but he was also giving off serious don’t-touch-me vibes. Dean did his best not to take it personally and helped him into the shower.

The hot water felt glorious and he was pretty sure Cas agreed. His boyfriend let out a soft moan as the spray from the showerhead beat down upon his back.

“C’mere.” Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ waist and eased him around until he was facing the side wall. Keeping his arm around Cas and his body pressed close, he used his soapy fingers to gently massage the strained muscles of Cas’ lower back. Cas leaned his head against the wall, almost melting under the touch. Brushing a kiss onto his shoulder, Dean allowed himself to just relax and relish having Cas close to him.

Cas shifted slightly, rubbing against him. Despite his best intentions, Dean felt his body responding. And apparently so did Cas, because the next thing Dean knew, Cas’ hand was drifting down his chest, coming to rest on his hardening erection.

“Ummm,” he murmured, thrusting slightly against Cas. “Feels nice.” He would have been content to just stay there under the warm water until he felt Cas grip him with intent. “That’s okay, I’m good,” he protested gently as he placed his hand over Cas’.

“But you’re hard.”

“Happens a lot around you. We’ll have time for that later, after we get you all healed up.”

“You never turn down sex,” Cas pressed. “And I am more than capable of doing this. I want to do this.”

Dean knew the significance of what Cas was offering. Their busy schedules often limited their time together and finding those moments when they were both up for it was a challenge. Unfortunately, this wasn’t one of those times.

“Sorry, babe.” Dean stepped back out of his grasp. “You’re way overdue for your meds, and you need some food in your stomach. Let’s finish up and get on out.” He knew he’d made the right call, but it still hurt when Cas shut him out. He dutifully allowed Dean to help him out of the shower and back to bed. He took his medications and managed to eat a few bites, but he was quiet and withdrawn, refusing all of Dean’s attempts to draw him out. Dean took comfort in the fact that he was doing what was best for Cas.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working at his family's private security firm in Maryland, Dean Winchester is frustrated by his current desk assignment as well as how little he sees his live-in boyfriend, Castiel Adler. When Cas is hurt during one of his audits, Dean is stunned to find out just how much distance has grown between them. Now he must find a way to bridge that gap while keeping Cas safe.

“Come on, babe; almost there.”

Cas pushed past the pain, and the flash of annoyance that he was feeling towards his significant other, and walked the last remaining steps to where Dean was standing. They were out on the back porch and Dean had insisted on enforcing the doctor’s instructions to not be immobile. He even had a stinking sheet from the hospital outlining exercises for him. Right now, all Cas wanted to do was throw up and then go home and sleep in his own bed. 

Anna had called this morning to tell him that the lawyer now felt he had enough to move on and that Mrs. Walker was indeed going to press criminal charges against her husband. All she needed from him were his notes and she would put together the final report. He wasn’t especially pleased with this option, though. He was far from being a glory hog, but he had worked hard on this audit and wanted to see it to completion. 

“Awesome.” Dean placed a hand on his hip and brushed a quick kiss across his cheek. “Good job. Want some water?”

Cas gave a quick shake of his head. His stomach was still churning from the exertion of walking downstairs and then doing five laps around the spacious back porch. 

“After you rest up, we’ll get you your meds and then rest up with an ice pack.”

Cas gripped the porch railing and took a deep breath. All morning, Dean had been by his side, making helpful suggestions, trying to get him to eat and take his medicine, dictating his exercise, telling him when he could go outside. And maybe he was being overly sensitive, because he knew that Dean loved him, but this just wasn’t working for him. “No.”

“What?”

“I want to go home. Today. Now.”

“Cas, we’ve been through this—”

“No, Dean, we haven’t. You tell me what we’re going to do. That’s not the same thing.”

Dean sighed and took a step back, a little of his own annoyance starting to show. “You know that I’m just looking out for you. I’m trying to take care of you,” he snapped.

“I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“The hell you don’t! You put yourself into these situations and then get hurt as a result, and I’m supposed to just sit back and let it happen.”

“I’m not a child, Dean. Don’t treat me like one,” Cas growled. He tried to push away from the rail and walk off, but he had turned too quickly and pain shot down his lower back, making his legs buckle.

“Damn it, Cas.” Dean was immediately by his side, holding him up. “Why the hell are you fighting me so much?”

He leaned forward, allowing his head to rest on Dean’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath while the wave of pain subsided. “Because I don’t want this.”

He heard Dean’s sharp breath and felt steadying hands on his shoulder as Dean pulled back to meet his eyes. “What exactly do you not want?”

Cas met his stare; as much as it hurt him to say it, it had to be done. “I don’t want to be in this type of relationship. I want to be treated as an equal.”

Dean shook his head. “I treat you as an equal, Cas. What do you expect me to do when you get hurt? Of course, I’m going to take care of you. You do the same for me.”

“No, I don’t. You don’t let me.” Cas gingerly tried to take a step back. “You go out and risk your life and I get no say in it, but you want a play-by-play of what I do at work. You get shot at and you shrug it off as just another day. And maybe you are okay, but I wouldn’t know, because you don’t talk to me about it. You have been deciding everything for me since I got hurt, but I’m not even allowed to give input as to your life. It’s always on your terms and I can’t do that.”

Dean dropped his hands and took a step back, shaking his head slowly. Cas could see that he was struggling with what he had just heard and he regretted saying it in this way. But it had been building and he just didn’t have the strength to hold it back anymore. 

“Boys.” Bobby’s gruff voice broke the stilted silence. “We’ve got an update for you.”

Cas felt his face heat up. He could tell by the equally embarrassed look on the older man’s face that he had heard their argument. 

“Yeah, Bobby. We’ll be right in,” Dean answered, his voice still a little gruff.

Cas heard a softly muttered ‘idgits’ as he went back into the house. He looked at Dean and was disappointed, but not surprised, to see his closed-off expression. There wasn’t anything he could say right now that would make this better, so he started towards the door. He could feel Dean close behind him.

John, Sam, and Mary were waiting in the dining room with Bobby. Dean pulled out a chair for Cas, but he gave a slight shake of his head and moved to lean against the wall. Dean raised a brow, and Cas knew that despite their argument, Dean was still concerned about him.

“I’m fine,” he murmured, ready for the attention to be off of him.

“Okay, why’s everyone looking so glum?” Dean asked, taking a seat next to Sam.

Everyone was quiet for moment before Bobby cleared his throat and started to speak. “I’ve been in contact with the police to see what they’ve got on the bomb that was set off. It wasn’t much, but a buddy of mine was willing to give me a few leads.”

“And I met with Anna and Parker from Whiteler and Associates,” Sam added. “I know that you only found concrete evidence of Gordon Walker’s illegal activities, but there was enough of a trail for the private investigator to narrow down a location.”

“Norfolk.” Cas remembered seeing receipts for that area and the extra mileage. 

“Norfolk?” Dean repeated. “Tell me you’re not saying this. That’s a pretty big leap.”

“What?” Cas wasn’t following them. “There are a lot of unexplained expenses and activity that seems to center around that area. It is possible that Walker’s associate is out of that area, but I couldn’t prove it. The one company that kept showing up seemed clean.”

“Fullerton Transportation,” Bobby supplied.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean muttered.

“What?” Cas asked again, looking around the room at all the grim faces. He hated this. He’d spent hours on this case and now they were all sitting here, and he was the one in the dark. 

“Cas, there’s a crime lord named Alistair who works out of the Norfolk region. He has a network of ‘associates’ and it’s hard to ever pin anything on this guy. We’re pretty sure Fullerton is a front company but nobody can prove it. One reason that he stays so clean is that if anyone gets close, accidents tend to happen,” Sam explained. “He’s bad news. If this is the guy that you’re coming up against, I’m surprised nobody has been killed yet.”

“He must not have known how close you guys were, otherwise, he would have set off more than a smoke bomb.”

Cas blanched at Bobby’s words. Dean had been right. He looked at everyone, realizing the danger that he’d put them in.

“Cas? Hey!” Dean was in front of him, concern all over his face. “You okay?”

“No,” he whispered. The nausea he’d felt earlier had returned full force.

“Easy, I got you. Let’s go lie down for a while.” 

Everyone jumped up and started moving as Dean guided him upstairs. By the time they got to the bedroom, Sam was right behind him with a glass of water. Cas didn’t fight it when Dean handed him the medication. He dutifully swallowed down the pills and thanked both of them. 

He was just about to ease himself onto the bed when Dean reached for the waistband of his sweatpants. “Here, let’s get this down before you sit.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand just in time as Mary walked in with an ice pack. She quickly placed the pack on the nightstand and gave him a light pat on the arm before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. 

He let go of Dean’s hand, but the other man didn’t move. 

“Uh, do you want some help with the pants? It’ll make it easier to lay the pack across your back.”

And while he appreciated the question, he hated the uncertainty that he heard in Dean’s voice. 

“Please.”

The combination of the ice pack, the medicine, and Dean’s fingers in his hair had him drifting off in no time.

 

***

Cas slept for about two hours. Dean had stayed by his side the entire time. Their earlier argument wasn’t their first intense fight, but it was certainly the most painful. Part of him refused to believe it, wanted to chalk it all up to the stress of the entire situation. But there was that part of him that feared that he had already lost the man. Wasn’t that what his family had been telling him all along? But as the minutes passed, he found himself growing angrier. Yeah, he might have made mistakes along the way, but Cas should have told him. 

He wanted to go downstairs and talk to his family and see what was going on, but the desire to stay next to Cas was stronger. The bundle of nerves in the pit of his stomach had him afraid of what Cas would say when he woke up, but the slow burning anger demanded he have his say as well. 

He felt Cas shift beside him, and he waited to see if he was waking up. Cas slowly rolled over to face him. He was still coming out of the effects of the nap and the pain pills, and Dean wanted nothing more than to pull him into his arms, but that burn just wouldn’t let him.

“How long was I out?”

“Couple of hours,” he answered. 

“Were you here the entire time?” Cas asked.

He had no idea how to take that question. “Yeah, I stayed.”

“Dean, about earlier….”

“Yeah, earlier,” Dean jumped in. “That was pretty damn unfair of you.” Cas looked as if he’d been struck, but he couldn’t help that now. “What the hell was I supposed to do with that, Cas?”

“Dean, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t know what that meant. Sorry Cas had hurt him? Sorry that it had to be said? Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Cas had tried to break up with him. There was so much to process from this morning, and he was still trying to do it. 

“Dean, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“Seriously? Because, man, I gotta tell you, you’ve just about gutted me here. You’ve got to give me something.” He was angry but he was also scared. He and Cas butted heads just like every other couple, but Cas always spoke his mind and never shied away from a confrontation. But now, he was so subdued, and Dean wasn’t sure if it could just be chalked up to their current circumstances.

It was a long time before Cas spoke, his voice soft but firm. “You know that I was raised by my uncle. Growing up, I never received affection from him or developed any close relationships with my cousins. I had to take care of myself. My first real relationship wasn’t until I was away at college. It was the first time anyone had ever really cared for me. I was completely enamored by it. Or blinded, depending on how you look at it.”

Cas was still lying down facing him, but he was no longer making eye contact. Instead, he very pointedly kept his gaze on the blanket where his fingers were plucking at a seam. “It was toxic. I mistook control for concern and gave up so much of myself. I lost so much in the process.”

“Do you think I’m like him?” Dean asked, the fear and dread that he felt increasing with each word.

Cas’ eyes flew to his. “No, of course not. I know you’re not.”

“Then what, because it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying I’m like you’re controlling ex-boyfriend.”

“It’s not about him, but more about what I need,” Cas tried to explain. “I need to feel as if I’m on equal footing with you, but sometimes I don’t. You’re very strong-willed and…sometimes, I feel like I could lose myself.”

“How come you never said anything? Seriously, man, you ride my ass about not picking up my clothes and drinking too much, but you don’t say a word about this?” Dean asked, the relief he felt tempered by frustration.

“I didn’t know how you’d take it. I wasn’t ready to let you go.”

It worried Dean just how much Cas held back from him, how much hurt and insecurity that he kept buried, so much so that it had almost cost them their relationship. He wanted to be good for Cas in the same way that Cas was for him. “Nobody is letting anybody go. Don’t be afraid to talk to me.”

“I don’t want to be your case or a project.”

“There’s a huge difference between being a project and me caring about your safety. I love you, and I’m going to go a little nuts when you get hurt.”

“But I shouldn’t?” Cas protested. 

“I’d be pretty upset if you didn’t. Hey, I know I’m strong medicine and not a little bit stubborn. But if you feel strongly enough about something, I need you to tell me.” He reached down and took hold of Cas’ hand, his fingers tracing a light pattern.

“I do, but you don’t listen.”

“Well, I’m listening now,” Dean promised. “I’m still me, but I want this to work. I know you think I don’t hear you, but I do, and if you want me to go ahead and see the counselor, I will.”

“You still don’t think you need it?” Cas asked.

“Does it matter? If it turns out I do, then I’m already seeing someone. And if we need to, you can come with me.”

“Seriously?”

“You’re important to me. I don’t want to lose this.” Dean helped to settle Cas against him and wrapped his arm around his back, securing Cas close to him. “Hey, um…about Ben and Lisa,” Dean started, searching for the words. “I get that this has been unfair for you and that I never really asked you how you felt about it.”

“I would never ask you to walk away from Ben.”

“I know you wouldn’t, but it has to work for all of us. I don’t want there to be anything between us,” Dean assured him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I want this to work as well. I promise to try to be more forthcoming.”

Dean reached down and pulled the blanket up higher over them. He knew that they would need to get up soon and get those back muscles stretched out, but he wasn’t quite ready to move. For the first time in a long time, he felt as if he was really connecting with Cas on every level. He’d missed this.

“Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“What about this guy Alistair?”

“What about him?”

“Did I bring this down on us? Do you think he’ll try something again?”

Dean tightened his hold around Cas, a silent promise. “I don’t think so. Anna says your part is done. Now it’s up to the lawyers to decide if they want to keep digging. I think Gordon Walker is the most likely candidate to end up in the cross hairs.” He was pretty confident that neither Cas nor anyone from Anna’s firm would be singled out, but he still planned to implement additional security measures. 

“I won’t shy away from cases, Dean, no more than you would.”

And that was fair, especially now that he had a better understanding of Cas’ motivations. “How about you tell me about the cases, and I promise to listen objectively and we can decide together how to keep each other safe.”

“I think I can live with that.”

“But I get final say since I’m the security expert.”

“Ass,” Cas muttered against his chest, but Dean could hear the smile in his voice.

 

***

“Okay, here’s your old man blanket.” Dean spread the soft throw out and covered them as he sat down next to Cas. They were sitting out back by the fire pit on the nice double lounger John and Mary had given them. A cold front had moved through earlier, cooling the air considerably. Cas moved closer to him, snuggling under the blanket while the fire hissed and popped, shooting sparks into the night. 

Cas was getting around pretty well. His wrist wasn’t as sore, but he was still having a lot of back pain. Dean was glad that he could move from room to room without it totally wiping him out. He could see that his boyfriend was starting to be more comfortable around his family, but he could also see that he was getting restless and wanted to get back to work.

Personally, Dean wanted Cas working with him. Well, not with him out in the field, but in the office near Sam. Cas was a good fit for them. And since some of the distance between them had cleared up, he thought Cas might actually go for it. Besides, they were going to need the help when John and Bobby decided that they wanted to retire.

“Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“When are we going home?”

“Soon,” he hedged, not quite ready to give a firm answer.

Cas gave a soft snort. “If it was up to you, we’d stay here forever.”

Dean couldn’t deny that, but he wouldn’t do something like that to Cas. He was amazing for staying under John and Mary’s roof for this long.

“Once we know the details about Walker’s sudden disappearance, I’ll feel better. Until then, I’d rather you were someplace safer than our condo in a crowded city.”

“How about our own farm?”

“Huh?”

Cas eased around until he was looking up at Dean. His expression was hesitant and Dean noted that he was worrying his bottom lip. “What if we get our own farm outside the city? I mean, if you want to, um, make that type of commitment.”

Dean had his lips pressed against Cas’ before he could even finish that sentence.

“Are you serious? But you love the city.”

“I love you. And it is peaceful out here. And we could make it safe, right, so you wouldn’t worry?”

“Yeah, I could make it safe. Are you sure?”

“Are you?” Cas challenged, even though Dean could still hear a bit of the hesitation in his voice.

Dean heard the uncertainty and, while he felt that he had been ready for this step for months, he hadn’t been sure that Cas was. Swallowing down a whole host of nerves, he threaded his fingers through Cas’. “I’m positive. We can have our honeymoon there.”

He waited a bit for the realization to sink in and wasn’t disappointed when Cas’ eyes widened in surprise and delight. “I’d like that,” he smiled.


End file.
